Over 2,000 hours of organizing people’s homes have taught me a lot about working with parents who’ve had it with clutter.

Many of them labeled their children as messy and irresponsible before we began. Parents who couldn’t think straight when all they see is clutter wherever they go in their homes, and those who were frustrated being the only one handling the work.

Some of them had previously hired a home organizer. Like an episode of HGTV, these families returned for the big reveal after the organizer spent hours on creating the dramatic makeover.

The family remembers the relief of finally seeing their kitchen counter. But a few weeks later, their home was back to feeling cluttered, the systems fell apart, and they felt disappointed — resigning themselves to waiting until the kids leave for college to feel order and calm again.

Here’s the truth. It’s not that the organizer didn’t do a good job.

The problem is that home organizers work differently, and families need to find someone who can not only set up the systems, but teach the family how to maintain them.

And it’s not just teaching the moms.

When I first started organizing, moms were the ones who reached out — until I realized the division of labor was making organizing a source of friction within the family. The difference in each family member’s skillset, motivation, and method had different levels of impact on the outcome and the amount of stress they brought on.

A more effective approach for families is one where everyone knows where things go, why they’re kept there, what happens when something new comes in, and how things get put away.

Furthermore, organizing for families isn’t only about the aesthetics. It’s also knowing what to do when kids’ drawings start to pile up but they refuse to let go, how to hold boundaries when going shopping, and what to do with kids’ treasures that to you feels like junk. I personally have been guilty of buying a small toy every time I went shopping when my son was little to keep him from having a tantrum in the store.

So finding the right home organizer begins by checking to see if the person can provide you with the knowledge needed to maintain the space after they leave. And ideally, someone who is comfortable working with children to close the gap for household responsibilities.

And if you’re wondering what other factors helped families decide to move forward with working with someone like me, here are 7 things parents have shared that helped them take that step.

1. They understood what happens during sessions before they started.

Does the person you’re looking to hire give you a glimpse of how they work? I always recommend starting your search by reading reviews or finding someone through word of mouth. Then, see if you can talk to the potential hire to get a sense of what the sessions might look like.

When parents first reach out to me, we always start with a complimentary consultation to understand your family’s needs. I welcome kids to join because it piques their curiosity and they feel excited about having an opinion on the potential changes in their home.

If we feel like a good match and they book a session, we start with the parents’ bedroom. Why? Because being a parent is hard work, and you need proper rest and time to quiet your mind without being surrounded by clutter.

Prioritizing the parents’ room helps increase capacity, reduce the stress and urgency around the rest of the home, and sets up a kind of showroom — a model for the children of what an organized space looks and feels like.

Then we work through the home together — clothing, books, paper, kitchen, bathroom, toys, and sentimental items — with children working on their belongings to build self-confidence, muscle memory, and internal motivation.

Along the way, we figure out routines and systems that make sense for your family. I include email follow-ups to keep parents on track between sessions. Accountability is crucial to building the momentum and stamina to get the whole home in order.

2. They realized they didn’t need their partner to be fully on board to start.

As mentioned, it’s common for moms to be the ones who reach out and take on the whole organizing project. When that happens, she can end up continuing to carry the mental and physical load — putting more strain on the family dynamic.

Every family looks different, and I work to meet you where you are. Ideally, having both partners involved creates shared understanding and knowledge. But when that’s not the case, we ease into the process a little slower — because sometimes resistance comes from feeling uncomfortable with change, which is completely normal when you’re used to your home a certain way.

As long as there’s a willingness to keep an open mind, it’s often that the other person sees the difference in their partner’s storage spaces and slowly becomes more interested in the process.

3. They stopped worrying about whether their kids would cooperate.

Most children respond well when an organizer makes their room look brand new. But some feel unsettled when they don’t know where their favorite things went. That’s why finding an organizer who will include children in the process — rather than doing it for them — matters.

The Dooley Method approaches organizing with kids by creating the conditions that invite them to try. Children practice making decisions throughout the process and build the confidence that they can do it themselves.

That’s what creates lasting results because the skills to maintain order start from the beginning. When parents are also learning, they show up with more empathy and patience while being more skilled to offer guidance and support rather than take over.

4. They accepted that the kids’ spaces come last.

One of the most common requests for home organizers is to start with the kids’ room, playroom, or kitchen. And I completely understand why — those areas create the most daily chaos and frustration for parents.

But focusing on the kids’ spaces when the rest of the home also needs attention, when children don’t yet have the skills to help on their own, when the decision to declutter or organize was made without children knowing or understanding what will happen and why it’s necessary — these are all ways this project can create emotional distress that leads to resistance and power struggles.

Working with a home organizer who understands that will allow children to ease into the transition by watching, participating in small ways, and developing enough curiosity that they’ll welcome the change.

5. They made peace with the timeline.

If you’re single or have a partner who is equally interested in getting organized, hiring someone to organize while you’re out would give you the reset you needed to quickly enjoy your home.

However, lasting results for parents with young kids comes from making time to work and learn from organizers who provide that type of service. That means it may take longer for the overall transformation. But you will definitely see dramatic changes after each session to motivate you to continue.

There are also several factors that can affect the timeline:

• The size of your home

• The amount of clutter

• Your family’s availability

• The skill level of where everyone is starting from

With kids, their motor skills, exposure, and associations with clean-up time all play a role.

On average, small families I’ve worked with in New York can complete their whole home between 30 and 50 hours. (Fingers crossed no one gets sick during those 3 to 6 months.) Families do get faster with practice and often their growing confidence allows them to take on more on their own between sessions because the process is so rewarding.

The goal is steady progress that fits your family’s schedule and builds long-term habits.

6. They did the math — and it changed how they thought about the cost.

Hiring a home organizer is not a decision to take lightly. But not hiring someone may already be costing you more than you realize.

During organizing sessions, many people discover forgotten containers holding things that haven’t been used in years. Brand new items purchased for the thrill of shopping. Stuff left in the back of a closet that you never really liked in the first place. Some families spent thousands on renting storage lockers where most items eventually ended up in the garbage.

Here’s a simple calculation worth sitting with.

If roughly half your home is taken up by clutter, take what you pay in rent or mortgage each month and divide it by two. That is how much you’re already paying every month for unusable space.

Multiply that by twelve.

Then by the number of years you’ve lived this way.

And the truth is, most families I’ve worked with found they could recover the investment for hiring a professional organizer — and then some. One client sold the car she never drove but had been paying insurance on for over two years.

I’m not a big spender myself, and I know kids are expensive. But I believe in investing in quality of life and in the skills that continue to reduce tension at home. Ultimately, like any decluttering decision, it’s one that families need to feel confident and clear about.

7. They stopped waiting for the perfect moment.

Every family I’ve worked with told me they wished they had reached out sooner.

But it’s easy to keep putting it off. After the holidays, things will settle down. Once summer camp starts, we’ll have more time. When the kids are a little older, they’ll be more ready. When we have a little more money saved up.

And meanwhile, the pile stays. The frustration builds. The conversations about who left what where happen again and again. The kids keep getting the same feedback — messy, irresponsible, not listening — without anyone showing them a different way.

Nothing changes because nothing new was introduced.

Sometimes the call comes when families have genuinely hit a wall — staring at the same pile, freezing up, and realizing they don’t know how to move forward on their own.

The way to break any cycle is to interrupt it with something new.

If you’ve been sitting with this, I hope these reasons helped give you some clarity. And if you feel some shift in how you feel about working with someone and I seem like a good fit, I’d love to have a conversation. No pressure, no commitment — just a chance to talk through what’s feeling hard and whether working together makes sense.

Ann Dooley is a certified home organizer and parent educator based in Brooklyn.

She works with families in the New York area and virtually — helping families organize together through connection, build lasting habits, and create more calm at home.

Find out how Ann can help

My sons looked at me and asked, “What will we get?”

The task was cleaning the bathroom they share.

I understood the question. We live in a world that runs on incentives — a star on the chore chart, extra device time, something from the prize box. It makes sense that kids start to expect a transaction.

But I also knew that whatever I offered in that moment would become the price of their cooperation next time.

And the time after that.

So I said “You get a clean bathroom.”

They weren’t thrilled. But they did it with an excessive amount of protective gears just short of a hazmat suit.

What happened next was not quiet or tidy. I'd hear screaming, laughing, and "No, you do it!" as they carried on for way more time than necessary.

But they were doing it. Together. Without a prize waiting at the end.

As chaotic as it was, they did not want my help because they were having fun.

I hear versions of “What will we get?” from kids when parents ask them to do something. The bribes that started small, then one day stop being worth the effort. The chore charts that held so much promise becomes more work to keep track of. The exhausting back and forth of negotiating something that should just... happen.

I get it. When you’re tired and the bathroom needs cleaning, extra device time feels like the fastest path to yes.

But what parents actually want is kids who take on a task not because there’s something in it for them at the end — but because they understand there’s a need for action and they feel capable of doing it.

Parents want it to feel natural, like “This is what we do in this family.”

That happens through:

• Parents modeling noticing it, taking care of it, and expressing how the result feels

• Giving kids opportunities to try, fail, and know they’re supported enough to try again, and again, and again — each time with more confidence and less friction.

• Acknowledging them with words that name their character, not just “good job” — “You guys put so much energy into that. The bathroom smells amazing!” or “The mirror is so spotless I can see my wrinkles!” (true story)

The reward-free approach is about trusting that contributing to a shared space, taking care of something that’s yours, and doing it alongside someone you love — is enough. Sometimes it’s more than enough.

Got a question about organizing with your children?
Send it my way — I answer subscriber questions through posts, episodes, and videos.

Curious what’s the Dooley Method is about? Check out how it can help your family declutter while fostering connection here.

That’s what I often hear from parents who reach out for help organizing their homes.

They’re exhausted. They wish their children would do more to take care of their belongings. They’ve tried everything: sticker charts, threats, bribing with device time. Sometimes these tactics work for a moment, but the negotiating just becomes another source of frustration.

In the end, many parents, especially the moms, end up doing all the work themselves. The tension around clutter never seems to end. And the hardest part is many of those parents feel like hiring me is them accepting that they have failed.

But here’s what I’ve learned after years of working with families:

The problem isn’t you. It’s not your kids. It’s not even the mess.

It’s that no one taught you how to organize while staying regulated, or how to teach your kids organizing skills through connection instead of commands.

That’s what this 16-minute foundation video addresses. It’s the grounding you need before you touch a single pile of clutter.

In this video, you’ll discover:

• Why your nervous system matters more than your bins - and what happens when you try to organize in fight-or-flight mode

• The mindset shift that changes everything: Your home doesn’t judge you. It’s been holding your mess without keeping score.

• Connection Time: The 15-minute daily practice that fills your child’s emotional cup (so they actually want to help)

• How to offer choices that invite cooperation - instead of commands that trigger resistance

• The S.H.I.N.E. framework for building internal motivation (Seen, Heard, Independent, Nurtured, Engaged)

• A.R.C. repair: How to come back after you lose your cool (Apologize, Repair, Collaborate)

• Why “good enough” is the goal - and how to define what that means for your family

• The power of modeling: Your kids are watching. No double standards.

This foundation applies to every organizing project you’ll ever do with your family.

Download the Step-by-Step guide for Connection Time

Connection Time Printable

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You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You don’t have to do it alone.

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For years I tried to figure out what was getting in the way.

The clutter kept coming back. The kids weren’t participating. The parents were exhausted. And the more I looked, the more I realized that the missing piece wasn’t a better system.

It was connection.

That discovery led me to create the Dooley Method — a framework that helps families see a pile of mess not as a source of friction, but as an opportunity to work together, build skills, and strengthen their relationship along the way.

This 30-minute video is an honest preview of that method, created for parents who want to understand what they’re getting into before they take the next step.

Some topics mentioned in this video:

• What makes the Dooley Method different from other organizing approaches?

• What will my family actually gain from practicing it?

• How does it nurture positive values in kids?

• How long will it realistically take?

• Will the changes last?

• How do I declutter while caring for young children?

Paid subscribers get instant full access.

Upgrade to download this chapter and access the full Dooley Method library — all 26 chapters plus new content added regularly, including exclusive lessons, worksheets, and podcast episodes — for around the cost of one large coffee a month.

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The Dooley Method guide and workbook lets you learn and reference the information anytime without having to download each chapter, while still giving you access to all the video lessons through QR codes inside. It also includes a complimentary 30-minute welcome call to get you started. Purchase your copy here.

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If you have questions, drop them in the comments — I’ll answer them in a reply, or turn them into a video or podcast episode for a deeper dive.

Dooley Method: A Look Inside

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If you’d like to talk through what’s going on in your home, I’d love to hop on a call with you and your family.

Book a complimentary consultation

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One of the hardest parts of getting a family on board with organizing isn’t the clutter itself.

It’s the feeling that you’re the only one who cares.

A few years ago I introduced this Family Agreement to a client during a weekend session. She had two kids who, like most kids, weren’t exactly lining up to declutter.

But something shifted when she sat them down, snacks on the table, and asked them to be part of the conversation.

They were excited.

It wasn’t because they suddenly showed interest in organizing, but because they were being asked.

Their opinions mattered.

Their voices were in the room.

And by the time everyone signed their names at the bottom, they weren’t just agreeing to keep their home in order. They were part of a vision for how they want their home to feel like when the work is done.

That’s what this agreement does. It gives your family a shared starting point: a moment you can point back to when things get challenging, when someone forgets, when the pile comes back.

We agreed to this. Together.

The process is simple. You gather everyone, talk about how the clutter makes each person feel, share what kind of home you all want to live in, and make it official with signatures. Kids can decorate the page. Everyone gets a high five.

It sounds small. But it plants something.

Download the Family Agreement printable below.

It includes a step-by-step guide for hosting your Family Agreement Meeting, and the agreement page itself for everyone to sign.

This is also part of the Dooley Method book — available as a physical copy or through your paid membership in the Dooley Method library.

Dooley Method Family Agreement

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Make this your family’s motto:
We are such a great team for taking care of our home together.

You probably know someone in your life who put on a YouTube workout video and get it done. Others, like myself, need a class, an instructor, or a friend so we can stick to a routine.

The same is true for home organizing or following through on a new parenting approach. Some of us do better with structure. Some need company. Some need a deadline. And some need all three.

That’s part of why I offer the weekly live co-working sessions. Because there’s something about knowing other people are also hard at work that makes it easier to stay focused.

We hold each other accountable just by showing up in the same space.

But when that’s not available, whether the timing doesn’t work, the time zone is off, or life just gets in the way, you can still make progress.

Here’s what helps:

Book an appointment with yourself. Put it in your calendar like any other commitment. Name it something specific — not “organizing” but “clear the kitchen counter” or “sort the winter clothes.” Set an alarm. Show up for it the way you would for anyone else.

Tell someone. Let your partner, a child, or a friend know what you’re planning. Saying "I'll let you know how it goes" creates more follow-through than you'd expect.

If it’s an organizing project, ask a family member to take before and after photos. It creates accountability and gives you a record of your progress worth looking back on.

Post about it. If you’re comfortable being public, announcing your intention before you start and sharing the result afterward creates a natural loop of follow-through.

Message me in the Chat. If you are in the Parent Circle with chat access, tell me what you’re planning to tackle. I’ll follow up. That’s what the chat feature is there for.

Set a micro goal. Not “organize the whole dresser.” Just fold the socks. Clear one surface. A goal small enough to finish in ten minutes is a goal you’ll actually start.

Race against yourself. Set it for 20 minutes and work until it goes off. The timer removes the open-ended pressure and makes starting feel manageable.

Pair it with something you enjoy. A podcast, a playlist, a show you’ve been saving. Make the task feel like a treat rather than a chore. For me, it’s lighting a scented candle!

Now here’s where it gets interesting when it comes to kids

If accountability is genuinely hard for us as adults — with fully developed brains and years of practice — imagine what it’s like for kids, whose executive function is still years away from being fully formed.

The next time your child forgets to put their dishes away, or walks past the thing that needs to go upstairs, it might not be defiance. It might just be that they haven’t figured out yet what kind of support helps them follow through.

So ask them.

Share what works for you. Tell them about the timer, or the friend you invited to the gym, or the playlist that makes it easier. Then when they have a task to do, ask them:

What would help you remember?

What would make it easier to get started?

Do you want me to check in with you, or would you rather do it on your own?”

And when you do check in, when you remind them, that’s not nagging. That’s accountability. The same thing when your friend texts you to confirm when to meet at the gym.

The difference is in how we offer it. With curiosity instead of frustration. With grace instead of pressure.

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If you know someone who could use this information, please share it with them. Who knows, they might become your accountability partner!

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For me, it starts with the commercials.

The heart-shaped jewelry. The mom looking surprised and delighted by something wrapped in a bow.

Not just because I’ve decluttered so many mother’s day gifts with clients that felt more like an emotional burden. I’ve also heard the complicated celebrations with those who has traumatic relationships with their moms and mother-in-laws.

For me, it’s also the fact that my birthday falls on or right around Mother’s Day.

As for my birthday, I started planning my own party since the 3rd grade. I enjoyed every bit of hosting. I loved the decorating, the planning of activities, and making sure my guests had a great time. The gifts I got were secondary to creating an event that made people feel special.

And even after becoming a mom, Mother’s Day was focused on hosting my mom and mother-in-law. I never really stopped to think about how I wanted to feel on a day I was a part of as well.

Growing up with an uneasy relationship with my mom meant that, rather than doubling up on the celebration, I mostly feared not meeting her expectations to “prove my love”.

And when we moved away and my children got older, a new kind of anxiety crept in.

Now with only myself under the spotlight, a low hum of pressure started building in the weeks leading up to the one weekend that — according to every ad — I deserve.

I’d bounce back and forth.

Do I ask for something? Do I wait and hope?

If I ask, does that make it less genuine? If I don’t ask, do I end up disappointed and pretend I’m not?

And underneath all of it — a quieter question.

What do I even want?

I enjoy seeing fresh flowers, but not the maintenance that follows. Jewelry or designer gifts have never been my thing. Chocolate makes my eczema flare up. The typical Mother’s Day gift ideas never felt right.

When I stopped hosting, our little family of four would go get brunch or my husband would get us really good bagels and lox and set up a spread at home. And I don’t want to come off sounding ungrateful because I do enjoy that very much, but

I wanted more.

I wanted some gesture from my children that wasn’t part of a class project, I wanted them to do what I always did — come up with something on their own, without being prompted.

But the problem was, I didn’t even know what it would be to satisfy that tug on my heart, and have I become my mom with an expectation? That thought horrified me.

I had to get curious. What makes me happy? “Does it sparks joy?” as my teacher Marie Kondo would say.

With a business I named “Simple Joy With Ann,” I started paying attention to the simple things that always make me happy:

A cup of oat chai latte.

A turmeric ginger one if I’m feeling fancy.

A bowl of ramen or wonton soup has never failed me.

That is my simple joy, my love language.

Then, a few years ago I started asking my boys for a one-on-one date to a restaurant or order in food that I love but may be new to them. This is not only a gift to my taste buds, it delights me when I can be part of them experiencing something they normally wouldn’t be open to.

This year, I requested they make me Bibimbap — a rice bowl topped with sautéed vegetables, marinated beef, a fried egg, and Korean hot sauce. They don’t realize that the real gift was me knowing they can find their way around a kitchen.

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Something else I've come to love — and often recommend to clients — is the experience gift to learn something new together.

One year, I landed on celebrating by taking a ceramics class with my son. We made bowls that we still use. Every time I set one on the table, I think of that afternoon.

That’s what I’m after, a memory that keeps showing up.

What I’ve learned through all of this is that those of us who have spent years putting everyone else first sometimes need to practice thinking about ourselves. And when we do, we give our families the opportunity to actually step up for us. They get to experience the joy of seeing us smile.

Also, the energy we spend hoping they’ll figure it out is energy we could spend getting honest with ourselves — so we can ask for what we actually need, want, and deserve.

I wish every mom a happy Mother’s Day — especially the ones who have spent years making it beautiful for everyone else.

Speaking of knowing what you want and asking for it,
I've posted a survey so I can offer more of the kind of support you need.
Just a few multiple choice questions, and it helps more than you know.

I'd really appreciate your input.

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In case you missed it…

Did you know that when you join the Parent Circle, you get access to the full Dooley Method library plus a 2-hour virtual organizing session with me? It’s a chance to experience firsthand how much can shift in just two hours.

You can see all the details and membership benefits here, or click below to subscribe for full access.

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To all the moms, cheers to a happy early Mother’s Day!

This month I’m also turning 51!

I’ll be sharing how I plan to celebrate in next Tuesday’s post. So look out for that in your inbox.

Recent celebration worth noting

I received a truly heartwarming testimonial from a client, here’s an excerpt:

“(Ann’s) approach is simple, uncomplicated, and always has love at the core. The reframes and practical systems she gave me have stuck for two years through two major upheavals. Because of her, I’ve gone from just surviving to practicing thriving — finding more meaning and joy in everyday life.”

It never gets old being part of someone's journey like this. It is truly an honor.

A challenge worth noting

For the last few months I hosted live subscriber events with the intention of making myself accessible for your questions, only to learn that asking busy parents to show up at a set time often only made sense on paper.

So apply the Dooley Method and see this as an opportunity to pivot.

Let’s try something simpler. Use the button below and ask me anything weighing on you with organizing for yourself or with your kids.

I’ll respond to every question through a post, podcast, video, or when appropriate, direct message. (And rest assured your privacy is always protected.)

Tell me, what’s feeling challenging for you right now? I’d love to help.

My commitments worth noting

I'm really excited about this one! I recently recorded a conversation with Angela Tam, an amazing mental load coach, and I'm committed to finishing the edit so you can listen to her incredible wisdom and insights.

What’s something you’d like to commit to doing this month? Leave a comment below.

One final note…ok, two.

The Celebrate, Challenge, Commitment format is something I use with families too to keep track of our progress. If you’d like to try, download it here:

Celebratechallengecommitmentworksheet

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And the live co-working sessions are still FREE! (Starting June, it will be $8/month should you decide to continue and to get access to exclusive lessons.)

May co-working sessions are on Mondays and Tuesdays, starting at 1 pm EST and lasts 90 minutes.

You can choose to sort through your mail, clean out a drawer, meal prep, or anything that helps you start each week feel a little lighter. I hope to see you there!

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Home organizing is creating a place for everything.

Parenting is teaching a child that they belong somewhere too.

The Dooley Method is doing both at the same time.

And if you’d like to support the work I do, but aren’t ready to commit to upgrading your membership, maybe you’d buy me a chai latte instead to help me keep going.

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For years, I’ve been letting my kids do their own clothes editing.

It’s a way for them to practice noticing what they still like, what doesn’t feel good on their skin, and how much they’ve grown.

In the past, I felt mostly relief and delight when they declutter.

But this time I got a bit emotional over a t-shirt I bought for my older son at the Bronx Zoo. It was one of our first outings after moving to New York.

I remember that day. The excitement of a new city, a new beginning, everything still feeling a little wide open.

He wore that shirt until it got too snug. Then it became his brother’s. And now his brother has outgrown it too.

My younger son picked it up without much thought.

But my older son looked over and said “That’s my old shirt!” with excitement in his voice. He began to describe where we were, what we saw that day.

That was a perfect example of how our belongings can hold so much, and why certain items are handled with more care.

For me, a heavier feeling lingered a bit longer…

My memories didn’t stop at the zoo outing, it quickly reminded me of that chapter of motherhood where I didn’t share my struggles, or express the loneliness of caring for a child in a city I had yet to make new friends in. And how far I’ve come to be open about the challenges I face, or asking for support even from strangers.

This is the kind of organizing process I love most — not just the before and after, but what happens in between.

The sorting and editing of what the drawers and life hold.

Video Lesson: Now Available

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In this 20 minute lesson, you’ll learn:

• How to turn a simple clothing edit into a meaningful experience

• How to help your kids tune into their body

• How to guide decision-making without taking over

• How to build resilience when letting go feels hard

P.S. I’m starting to pair these posts with short videos for those who want to move from reflection to practice.

This one is free.

For the cost of an oat chai latte a month, you’ll have access to mini-lessons and podcast episodes — including the upcoming first episode, How Many Toys Is Enough.

• How to turn a simple clothing edit into a meaningful experience

• How to help your kids tune into their body

• How to guide decision-making without taking over

• How to build resilience when letting go feels hard

This lesson is a sample of what paid subscribers receive. Once a month I’ll be releasing a video lesson from the Dooley Method — a deeper dive into the chapters to help you put the method into practice with your family.

For around the cost of one large coffee a month, you’ll have access to the full library as it grows.

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Home organizing is letting go of what no longer serves you.

Parenting is knowing when to let go and trust your child to figure it out.

The Dooley Method is practicing both — together.

→ Click here to go to the Dooley Method Library contents page

This project was a family event.

The kids helped remove the glasses and mugs to the kitchen island. They shared which ones they enjoy using, and we figured out which shelf they could reach.

I explained the importance of leaving just enough space between each row of glasses so fingers can fit in between.

I also showed them that by facing the mug handles in the same direction, you don’t need identical mugs to get that uniform look.

Having a small pantry to feed a family of four means every inch matters.

While this pantry wasn’t in bad shape, there were some issues with knowing what goes where.

After emptying it out, grouping and editing the food, we made decisions together on what made sense for the whole family.

Kids always love having a dedicated shelf for their self-serve foods. And grouping the ingredients for meal prep together made it easy to figure out what to make for dinner.

We didn’t get any new organizing products.

We used what they had, rearranged based on the family’s needs.

No labels either — because the locations made it self-explanatory.

This is the kind of work I enjoy most. Not just the extra hands, but everyone having a voice in how a shared space works.

Let me know if you try any of these ideas with your family. And if you're wondering what's possible in your own home, I'd love to chat — book a complimentary consultation and we’ll figure out what’s best for your family.

Did you know, for around the price of one oat chai latte ($8/month),
you can participate in as many co-working sessions as you’d like? (Schedule are posted in the most recent monthly update) Hope to see you there!

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I had this great conversation with my son the other day, and he totally surprised me.

We were on his bed, just talking.

Two hours later, we were still going — the kind of conversation you can’t plan and can’t rush.

And because we were really connecting, because there was trust and we both felt safe enough to be open, I took the opportunity.

“Hey, let’s talk about the plates on your desk. Can you help me understand why you don’t bring them to the kitchen?”

A stack of plates had been sitting next to his computer for 2 days.

Something I couldn’t ignore every time I passed by but resisted the urge to remind him or put them away for him.

Because the real question underneath it wasn’t about the plates at all.

It was — Does he even notice? Does he care?

I shared that I never leave a room empty handed. That I scan, I notice.

I’ve taught him that.

Many times. We’ve practiced.

And yet it hasn’t been consistent.

To be honest, he’s been my greatest challenge in developing the Dooley Method. The code I keep trying to crack.

He’s 12, so I get that it’s normal to push back.

Still, I know he’s capable because he volunteered at school to take the lunch basket back to the cafeteria every day.

But at home, we’re still looking for that internal motivation.

Troubleshooting together, no ideas off the table.

In the Dooley Method, I advise parents to treat every problem like a science experiment — test a hypothesis, see what works, try again.

We talked about the different ways we’ve tried, and how a sticky note didn’t work for him.

I joked about using a poster board that’s too big to ignore and we both laughed.

But he was in.

I left him to it.

The next morning I walked into his room and saw it on the floor.

He’d written on an old presentation board himself. Reset the bedroom. Reset the desk. And at the bottom: Give love to the dog.

I smiled. Not only that he included something meaningful, but that he used the word “reset.”

I had expected him to list specifics like make the bed or take the plates to the kitchen.

Instead he wrote the word that we use to capture everything at once.

He understood what it meant — not just the word, but the whole idea behind it.

Will the poster board work?

I honestly don’t know yet, but I’m proud of our open conversation and his willingness to try.

Our kids aren’t wired for one idea, one conversation, one solution.

Learning takes time and consistent support. Motivation has to come from within. Habit forms when development catches up and something finally clicks.

I know he’d get it done right away if I’d offer some type of reward or told him no device time until he put his plates away.

But I'm in this for the long game, trusting that his internal wiring will make the connection — why it benefits him to have a clean desk, so the dishes get cleaned on time, so he can reclaim the space to do his work without visual clutter.

I know he can do it because there are many examples where I no longer have to remind him at all.

Learning isn’t linear. But every step gets him closer.

What I do know is that the connection we had that night — that’s what made any of it possible.

Not the poster board.

The connection is the one thing I know works better than anything else for cooperation.

Is that your experience as well?

I share stories like this because I want to show up as my authentic self with the families I work with. I do this work not because I’ve got it down with my kids, but because I’ve learned how to slow down the urgency and need for perfection so connection can happen.

What if your home was easier to maintain?

I work with families in an intuitive, organic way — building connection while everyone learns the skills to care for their home together. If you’ve been struggling with organizing at home with your kids, I'd love to talk.

Book a Complimentary Consultation

It’s been about 7 months since I started posting on Substack.

In the beginning, I felt unsure of my voice — questioning whether I needed to worry about sales funnels, content pillars, and algorithms. The constant chasing and self-doubt was a habit I didn’t realize I’d picked up from being on Instagram for so long. It was exhausting and left me feeling like quitting altogether.

The move to Substack has been a slow and steady pace. And I’ve had to remind myself of something I tell my clients all the time — decluttering your home, setting new habits, or resolving conflicts with your children, none of it happens overnight. By showing up consistently, in time, you'll notice a shift. Connections are made, and you move one step closer to your goal.

I’m trying to bring that same patience to Dooley Noted.

The last few live events only had one person show up, but I appreciated being able to focus on one person, one challenge at a time. She shared photos with me showing how much a simple solution helped.

That is why I show up — knowing that making a difference, no matter how small, still counts.

Recently I posted a survey to see if the timing of the live events could better serve more people by offering more flexibility.

I’m now hosting co-working and Q&A sessions three times a week, Tuesday through Thursday, back to back from 1–3 PM EST. That’s at least 24 hours a month of live support — for the price of one fancy latte!

Here’s the thing — helping parents feel more ease in their day is what lights me up. Solving your problems keeps my skills sharp, and making a difference gives me a sense of purpose.

So when you show up, you are not only helping yourself and your family — you are helping me do what I love.

And I appreciate every opportunity I get to support someone on their journey to feel more calm in the space they call home. It truly is an honor to witness the transformations for families that once felt hopeless with the clutter taking up their time and energy.

Since it’s a new schedule, I want to open it up to all members to see if it works for more of you. Sign up for as many sessions as you’d like. If it works, I’ll keep it open for a couple of months before returning it to paid members only.

And if you’d like to support but aren’t ready to commit to upgrading your membership, maybe you’d buy me a chai latte instead.

Buy me a coffee

Here's what's on the calendar this month. I look forward to seeing you!
Ann

Co-Working Sessions

Every Tuesday- Thursday starting April 2nd, 2026
1 p.m. - 2 p.m. EST

This is a co-working session where you choose your own project and work alongside others. You set the intention to organize your home or your mind.

From cleaning out a closet to answering your emails or meal prep, I’ll be there to help you stay focused, and offer accountability as you go.

You’re welcome to join all 3 sessions each week and stay for as long or as little as fits your schedule.

Register for Co-working sessions

Live Q&A

Every Tuesday- Thursday starting April 2nd, 2026
2 p.m. - 3 p.m. EST

This is a space for questions, reflection, and conversation. You can ask about something you’re working through at home, something that came up during a tidy, or a pattern you’re noticing with your family.

This is a come-as-you-are space. You’re welcome to participate in whatever way feels comfortable. There’s no requirement to speak — listening is always welcome. Pick the day that works best for you or come back another day if you think of more questions.

Register for Live Q&A

Ugly Cry Club

Wednesday, April 8, 2026
9:30 a.m. - 10:00 a.m. EST

I started a gentle online space for those who’ve been holding it together — a place to pause, to let it out, and to release what’s been building. There’s no need to explain and no need to apologize. If that sounds supportive to you, you can learn more at uglycry.club or give it a try by registering to join for free.

Register for Ugly Cry Club

You don’t need to attend everything for this to be valuable. These sessions are here to meet you where you are.

I look forward to seeing those who can make it to these sessions.

Joyfully,
Ann

I want Dooley Noted to be worth your time and valuable to your family. Would you take two minutes to answer 8 questions?

Fill Out Survey

Thank you for your time and honesty.

There’s a moment when it hits.

You put away the dishes louder than they need to be.
The kitchen cabinet doors get slammed a little harder.

You look around and feel defeated.

When stress over clutter builds, our nervous system can switch into fight-or-flight, and suddenly every item out of place feels like a five-alarm emergency.

Not because it’s truly life-or-death, but because survival instincts on overdrive make it feel that way in the body.

The urgency to place blame or make the mess disappear is our body’s way of trying to ease the discomfort inside us.

The truth is, clutter itself is temporary.

But the shame and guilt can last much longer.

I created this four-minute guided meditation for those moments—to help your system settle so you can return a little calmer.

A little steadier.

Find a quiet spot, soften your gaze, and follow along to reset.

Save this post so you can come back any time you need a moment.

If you’ve been trying to declutter and organize on your own and have questions about how to take care of certain spaces or get your family to participate, I hope you’ll join the Live Q&A session.

FREE this month to all members: Live Q&A

Saturday, March 28, 2026
10 a.m. - 12 p.m. EST

This is a come-as-you-are space. You’re welcome to join when it works for you and participate in whatever way feels comfortable.

Register to Join

The full lesson is available to paid subscribers only.

Upgrade to access this chapter and the full Dooley Method library — including exclusive lessons, downloadable worksheets, full podcast episodes, and invitations to live co-working sessions.

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Read more

“I don’t care. Just get it done.”

I overheard a parent saying this to her child after school, mid-negotiation about cleaning up.

It went on for a while.
Neither of them looked happy.

Even though my title is home organizer, and for many years most of my work was done with moms only, moments like this are what pushed me to change how I work—bringing the whole family in and placing connection first.

What I see underneath moments like this isn’t a lack of discipline or effort.

It’s urgency.

The urgency to skip over a child’s struggle because the parent can’t tolerate the mess any longer.

Parents aren’t always noticing what their child is up against:
the loss of control,
uncertainty about their skills,
fear of disappointing their parent,
or confusion about why this matters so much when it will all be messy again tomorrow.

And kids often don’t see what their parents are carrying:
the mental load,
the sensory overload of visual noise,
the worry about raising capable adults,
the fear of being judged as a “bad parent.”

Those are the real connection gaps.

But what we see is the surface version—
an overbearing parent
and a disobedient, disrespectful child.

When we don’t slow down enough to connect and feel like we’re working together instead of against each other, maintaining an organized home becomes a constant struggle.

Clutter turns into a daily stressor.
Power struggles increase.
Meltdowns multiply.

And parents, feeling desperate, turn to bribes and threats just to get through the moment—often without realizing how much that shapes the family dynamic over time.

Connection is not a detour from organizing.
It’s the foundation.

My next post will share the first part of a video about Connection Time and why it’s central to the Dooley Method. I look forward to sharing that with you.

Hi there,

Let’s trying something new this month. I’m opening up the sessions to all members so everyone gets an opportunity to try tidying together or get your parenting+organizing questions answered.

When you register, you can show up anytime during the 2-hour window and participate in any way that feels helpful to you. I look forward to supporting your family and making life feel a little lighter.

Tidy-Together

Saturday, March 7, 2026
10 a.m. - 12 p.m. EST

This is a co-working session where you choose your own project and work alongside others. You set the intention to tidy your home or your mind.

From cleaning out a closet to answering your emails or meal prep, I’ll be there to help you stay focused, and offer accountability as you go.

You’re welcome to join at any point during the session window and stay for as long or as little as fits your schedule.

To prepare:

• Choose a project you’d like to tackle during this focused fime

• Have a charged device or keep it plugged in.
  
  

  Register for Tidy Together

Live Q&A

Saturday, March 28, 2026
10 a.m. - 12 p.m. EST

This is a space for questions, reflection, and conversation. You can ask about something you’re working through at home, something that came up during a tidy, or a pattern you’re noticing with your family.

This is a come-as-you-are space. You’re welcome to join when it works for you and participate in whatever way feels comfortable. There’s no requirement to speak — listening is always welcome.

To prepare:

• Jot down any questions or situations you want support around

• Or simply come as you are
  
  

  Register for Live Q&A

Ugly Cry Club

Wednesday, March 11, 2026
10 a.m. - 10:30 a.m. EST

I started a gentle online space for those who’ve been holding it together — a place to pause, to let it out, and to release what’s been building. There’s no need to explain and no need to apologize. If that sounds supportive to you right now, you can learn more at uglycry.club or register to join for free.

Register for Ugly Cry Club

You don’t need to attend everything for this to be valuable. These sessions are here to meet you where you are.

I look forward to seeing those who can make it to these sessions.

Joyfully,
Ann

“But your way isn’t working!”

Years ago, I had an argument with my husband about something with the kids. I honestly can’t even remember what it was about—except for that one line.

Since then, it’s taken many more conversations for us to become aligned in the understanding that when kids are learning something new, progress rarely looks the way adults expect it to.

We look for consistency.
Follow-through.
Proof that it’s working.

We look for immediacy.

But kids are messy and slow when it comes to learning.

They remember one day and forget the next.
They do it when it’s easy and resist when they’re tired
(or bored, or distracted, or overwhelmed, or just don’t feel like it).

They grow in flashes, not straight lines.

Which makes it incredibly hard to trust that anything is happening at all.
Especially when you’re already exhausted. (This is true for adults, too. We just forget.)

When parents don’t see visible progress quickly, it’s easy to assume kids are being defiant or aren’t capable.
Or that something needs to be stricter.
More enforced.
Handled differently.

But learning happens beneath the surface.
In repetition.
In experience.
In time.

The absence of immediate change doesn’t mean nothing is happening.

Often, it means something is still forming behind the scenes.

If this resonates, I see you.
You are doing great.

Here’s another related post that you might find comforting:

If you feel your family could benefit from more personal support and gentle accountability, I offer 1:1 coaching to help you declutter and organize together—while strengthening connection along the way.

And if you’re looking for ongoing support, my monthly membership ($8/month) offers a place to return to: access to all articles, live co-working tidying sessions, group Q&A on Zoom, and recorded conversations with experts.

Subscribe now