Hi Everyone,

When my boys were little, summers turned me into a camp counselor. After they begrudgingly put on sunscreen, we’d explore the many parks and museums New York had to offer. As they got older, summer became the time we worked on honing their skills to take on household tasks — without the pressure of a school schedule.

I’ve even worked with a few clients and their children over the summer, which felt like its own kind of summer camp. Actually, that’s an idea I keep coming back to.

Now that my kids have become more skilled and more independent, I’m learning to redirect that energy toward more self-care. Though I’ll admit, home organizing is still the one activity that genuinely lights me up.

If you’re feeling the pull of summer clutter, or wondering how to involve your kids in the process, I’m here if you’d like to schedule a complimentary consultation.

Recent celebration worth noting

“This was so informative and I’m excited about working with kids in the future.”

That came from an attendee at a recent workshop I gave to a group of certified KonMari home organizing consultants. The room was full and the questions were thoughtful. I left feeling genuinely moved — knowing that more families might feel what it’s like when cooperation comes from connection.

A challenge worth noting

I recently worked with a client who had a very full summer ahead. We decided to tackle several key projects over two consecutive days — 10.5 hours total. I went in energized. Dedicated, focused time means we can accomplish so much more.

What I didn’t anticipate: the physical toll. Climbing up and down a step ladder, moving heavy items — it’s a real workout. I also know myself well enough to recognize that I push harder when I want to leave a client’s home in a good place.

We accomplished everything we set out to do. And I was reminded, again, that taking care of my body is part of the work too.

A commitment worth noting

Over the past few months, I’ve been enjoying some genuinely meaningful connections on Substack — many of them growing out of simply being fans of each other’s work.

I’m currently working on something special with my friend Sheeba of This, Right Here — a series exploring why kids have such a hard time letting go of things. I’d love for you to check out her work and subscribe to both of us so you don’t miss it when it drops.

One final note

The Bedroom Reset — my 4-part mini video course designed to help parents reclaim their energy and introduce home organizing to their kids — is available now. If you haven't seen the intro yet, it's a good place to start.

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I became curious why it resonated so much that I decided to not only do a deep dive into this reframe, but also collaborate with Papatya to design a few printables you can download.

Organizing your home isn’t about being tidy.

I recall there was a time when organizing meant something very specific: minimal aesthetics, matching containers, rainbow-colored bookshelves, labels for things that seemed self-explanatory.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a well-organized space and appreciate the design sensibilities. But real life, especially with children, looks different. Sometimes there’s a half-finished art project still on the kitchen counter, or laundry that sits for a few extra days before there’s time to fold it.

But home organizing has evolved into so much more than visual appeal. I’m grateful for what finding homes for your belongings and mindfully making decisions can create. To reference my teacher Marie Kondo, it really is a kind of life-changing magic.

It’s about knowing what you have.

When you can actually see what’s in your cabinet, you stop replacing things you already own. No more buying a third bottle of sunscreen because the first two were buried somewhere you forgot, and you realized after finding them that the unopened bottles are expired.

That’s why, when you know what’s in your home, you also stop the slow drain of money, energy, and space. And you have more mental space to remember things — like you haven’t eaten anything and should probably drink some water.

It’s about being able to find it.

Every once in a long while, a client will email me, asking if I know where something is stored. I always do — not because I have a photographic memory, but because there’s only one logical place it would be. Extra coffee filters would be inside the upper cabinet shelf, above the coffee mugs, which is above the coffee machine.

That’s a pretty straightforward example, and you can see how it makes sense. And it’s the way I teach families to think about storage: making their home feel more intuitive, so they can feel the flow.

It’s about not spending energy on what doesn’t matter.

Before I learned how to organize a storage space with purpose, I used to reorganize the same spaces over and over because I wasn’t making meaningful decisions about what I owned. I kept things out of “what if I need it,” or out of guilt — like a sweater my mom gave me that I’d never worn, kept out of fear she’d get upset. Or the box of random tools I didn’t know how to use, just moved further back in the garage so I didn’t have to deal with them.

When you’re able to make clear, confident decisions to let go, what remains is what actually matters to you. You’re more likely to take better care of those items, putting them back after use. And your storage spaces only hold things that are useful or enjoyable to your family.

When your home works for you, everything feels lighter.

A lighter home doesn’t ask you to keep organizing it. Everything has a place, and nothing is hiding behind a closed closet door. Storage spaces make sense to everyone who needs something from them. And maintaining order takes little effort.

The lightness becomes even more evident once you’ve worked on including the whole family in the decision-making and skills-building. Over time, resetting the home at the end of the day starts to feel like a well-choreographed dance, everyone moving through the space together.

Organizing is how you take back your time and your peace.

Organizing is more than solving a storage issue. It’s a way to enhance the life you want to enjoy with your family.

Keeping books easily within reach by a cozy chair, so you can read to your children.

Having baking ingredients accessible, so making cookies together becomes a family tradition.

Having a bedroom that isn’t just visually calming, but what you keep in by your bedside actually helps you feel more rested.

An organizing system that works means it will continue to bring you order and calm until it has to change because your family’s needs have changed — welcoming a baby, getting a new pet, changing careers.

The rest of the time, its job is to be in the background, so you and your family can focus on connection and doing what you love.

And if I can help you get there sooner, I’m ready when you are.

Joyfully,
Ann

Enjoy these downloads:

Thank you Papatya for collaborating on designing these together.

Quote In Blue

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Quote In Chalk

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Quote With House

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❤️

You don’t have to have a perfectly organized home to teach your kids how to care for theirs. Instead, show them what you’re working on, let them see you figure it out, invite them to be part of the process.

You know more than you think you do. It’s enough to start with what you have.

Nobody wants to be bossed around.

I notice it in myself. The more someone tells me to do something, the slower I move. Or I do it, but my body is rebelling the whole time — closing the cabinet a little harder than necessary, stomping around, using just enough extra force to make it known that I’m not happy about it.

Not because I’m lazy. Because I didn’t have a choice.

Kids feel this too. And let’s be honest — nobody is excited about putting dishes away or picking up after themselves. It’s just stuff that has to get done.

So we try our best to keep our voices calm. “Don’t forget to fold your laundry, okay?”

That "okay?" is our need for confirmation. Followed by a quiet plea inside my head. Please hear me. Please, so I don't have to say this again.

But to a child, it sounds like an opening.

Even when they say yes, nothing happens. The task isn’t done because the internal motivation and accountability never existed in the first place.

And when you’re trying to cross off just one more thing from your list and move a step closer to bedtime, that delay creates a fracture in your relationship.

The problem is the question itself.

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How do I ask in a way that doesn’t lead to a power struggle?

The shift in their willingness to participate starts with five familiar words:

what, who, where, when, and how. (Spoiler: this works on partners too.)

What puts them in the driver’s seat. “What do you want to listen to while we fold laundry — an audiobook or music?” They’re still folding. But now they get to choose something to make the time more enjoyable.

Who lets them decide how much support they want. “Do you want to do this together or do you think you’ve got it?” Some kids want the company. Others feel confident going solo. Either way, they’re the one deciding how much or how little you’re involved.

Where gives them a place to begin. Children can freeze when they’re told to “go clean your room” and don’t know where to start. “Do you want to start by clearing the floor or the table?” narrows it down and makes it easier to take that first step.

When removes the standoff over timing. “Will you put away your shoes before snack time or after?” They’re not being interrupted. They’re choosing their moment. And often that window can become part of their routine.

How is where it gets fun — especially for younger kids. “Do you want to pick up the toys like an elephant or a kangaroo?” The toys still get picked up. But play makes the time go faster.

What all five of these questions have in common is flexibility. Not permissiveness — the task still needs to get done. But flexibility in how, when, where, and with how much support. That's the difference between a child who feels controlled and one who feels trusted.

And I don’t just stop after one question. In one conversation, I follow up each response with a different question. With each answer, they are mapping out a clearer path to getting the task done.

The more input they have, the more empowered they feel — and the more they feel your trust in them to take charge.

Your role shifts too. From the person demanding something gets done, to the person in their corner.

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These days, my children are choosing “I can do it myself” more often. And while I have fewer questions to ask about getting things done, I have started a new set of questions:

“Do you want anything to eat after you’re done? I can get it ready for you.”

“Need anything before I get started on my own stuff?”

“Let me know if you want an extra set of hands.”

These questions are no longer about getting the task done. They’re about letting them know you trust them, and that you’re still there.

And no matter the question, what you’re really doing is showing your child that their thoughts and preferences matter. That you trust them to make a good choice for themselves.

And children who feel trusted don’t need to fight for control. They already have it.

Does this mean you’ll never hit a wall?

No. There will be days when they’re tired, overwhelmed, or working through something bigger. Their need for autonomy can sometimes override everything else, and that’s okay. That’s being human. But when you practice sharing control and giving them a little more wiggle room, those moments are less likely to escalate.

Because the foundation of connection and trust is already there — and that’s what makes repair and cooperation possible.

Want to try this with your kids this week? Download the Flexibility for Cooperation page — a one-page cheat sheet from the Dooley Method library to keep close while you practice.

Flexibility For Cooperation Dooley Method

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And if you want to go deeper, upgrading to paid gives you access to the full library, plus a complimentary consultation call to help you get started from wherever you are.

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❤️

Home organizing is taking the time to do it right — so the system lasts.

Parenting is offering patience while kids learn — so the lesson actually sticks.

The Dooley Method is built on steady progress, not quick fixes.

She loved them so much.

They took up most of the bed she slept in every night. Maybe she was on to something — being surrounded by things that made her happy isn’t a bad idea at bedtime.

But then we started talking about what each one meant to her. She was surprised that not all of them were as close to her heart as she thought.

This was an in-person session with my 9-year-old client who had a large collection of stuffed animals taking over her bedroom. She loves to read, but realized she didn't have a comfortable space to do it. She didn't know where to put her things, and looking for something specific always ended up taking a lot of time and causing frustration.

Her dresser top had become a place to drop things. She couldn't even enjoy the beautiful flowers. Looking for stuff was causing her a lot of grief.

We started by grouping similar items into piles. One by one, she shared stories about her “friends” and why some of them don’t mean as much to her anymore. Those she decided to keep were sorted into even more specific groups: by size, material, or theme. We did the same with everything else: stickers, erasers, makeup, gemstones, books, jewelry, sentimental items.

She did the work.

And I watched her gain confidence in her decision-making right before my eyes.

When it came to displaying what she decided to keep, we talked through which shelf made the most sense. By placing her larger, pillow-like stuffed toys on the floor, we created a cozy corner for reading. Books moved to the bottom shelves. More fragile items went to the top.

We cleared the dresser top and kept only what she wanted to see. She said she'll make sure not to let things collect, and she feels good knowing everything has a place to return to.

The higher shelves are the ones she likes to look at. The lower shelves hold things she likes to play with. The second-to-lowest shelf has games for when friends come over, with a small space for a cup of water at night.

“I like being able to see everything so much more clearly now!”

This kind of project wouldn’t be possible without my client’s participation. Only she knew what each toy meant to her. By involving her in every decision, she became the expert on her own collection.

And this is how I work with every family. Holding space for each family member to build those mental maps in decision-making.

I’m most proud when a choice is made with confidence and clarity, through exploring different ways of looking at an object and asking the hard questions without letting the stress of it escalate.

In nearly a decade, I’ve gathered those experiences into the Dooley Method to walk families across the bridge between connection-first parenting and home organizing.

As we work, parents learn how to organize their own belongings, how to let go, and how to pass those skills on to their children without getting stuck in a power struggle.

For $8 a month, you get access to the full Dooley Method library, live co-working sessions, and a complimentary consultation call. I’ll be right there with you to offer guidance, answer questions, and be in your corner along the way.

When you're ready, I'm here.

Subscribe now

❤️

Home organizing is being honest about what you actually use, need, and love.

Parenting is being transparent about what you truly mean, expect, and when you’ve made a mistake.

The Dooley Method helps your family create space for both.

Hi there,

I hope your weekend is going well. It’s a little unusual for me to reach out on a Sunday, but I’ve been sharing parenting and home organizing tips on Substack Notes and I didn’t want you to miss them.

You’ll find quick tips, quotes, photos, and short videos — the kind of things that don’t always make it into a full post but are worth a moment of your time.

Here’s one I shared recently:

I would love for you to join me there!

Go to Notes

Here’s how to join

Head to substack.com/notes or find the “Notes” tab in the Substack app. As a subscriber to Dooley Noted, you’ll automatically see my notes. Feel free to like, reply, or share them around!

If you encounter any issues, you can always refer to the Notes FAQ for assistance. Looking forward to seeing you there!

Go to Notes

❤️

Home organizing is seeing your space not as it is, but as it could be.

Parenting is seeing your child not just as they are today, but who they are becoming.

The Dooley Method helps you build toward both visions — together.

Subscribe now

In this episode, Debbie, creator of Connection Bridge Parenting and I sat down for an honest conversation about how stories can guide children through everyday challenges — and why that matters for the whole family.

This is also the first in a series of posts that we are collaborating on. In the coming weeks, we’ll be sharing videos, printables, and frameworks focused on helping parents involve their kids in caring for the home. Subscribe to our publications so you don’t miss it.

In this episode, Debbie and I talked about:

• How we both found storytelling as children

• Connection-based parenting vs. how we were raised

• Using stories to guide children through challenges

• How we each use homemade storybooks to help children work through problems

Download these pages on how to use storytelling to address big feelings and problem-solving. Try it tonight.

Connection Through Stories Activity

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About Debbie Giannioti

Debbie is the creator of Connection Bridge Parenting, a Substack publication for parents who want a more connected, respectful relationship with their child. Every month she explores one parenting challenge through articles, resources, and stories written specifically to help children — and parents — find their way through it.

Subscribe to Connection Bridge Parenting

You’ve finally tackled the entry closet. The jackets have hooks. Shoes are on shelves. There’s a basket for the odds and ends from your pocket to land.

It feels good. For a few days, maybe a week.

And then your partner drops their bag on the floor by the closet door. Your kids kick off their shoes wherever they land. And slowly, the chaos starts to drift back. Sound familiar?

Most organization systems work. But:

When it came up, it turned into a power struggle instead of a conversation. “Why can’t you just put it back where it goes” lands as criticism, not information or action. So to avoid more conflict, the question stops getting asked, and the parent becomes the only one who knows.

The family wasn’t part of the thought process. You decided where the shoes go, where the mail lands, where the backpacks hang. It made sense to you, because you’re the one who thought it through. Everyone else just sees the result, not the reasoning, so there’s nothing to actually remember.

Nobody showed them how to find or return things on their own. Knowing where something goes isn’t something kids absorb by watching once. It has to be practiced, out loud, more than once, before it sticks.

So one parent ends up owning the system — and being the only one who knows where anything is in it.

That’s what led me to create the Dooley Method. A way to bring the whole family into the process, so when something needs attention, everyone can step in. It’s how children build a sense of confidence and pride in taking care of their home because they were included, and they feel competent knowing how.

Here are a few options for the kind of action that you can try today to start giving your children opportunities to learn putting things away to where they go. (Not a chore chart, not a system you hand them):

1. Ask one question instead of giving one instruction. Instead of “put your shoes away,” try “where do you think your shoes should go?” — not with a tone like they’ve already made a mistake, not passive-aggressively. Just genuine curiosity. If they know the right designated spot, just say “You remembered!” If they don't or get it wrong, say "I'll give you a hint" so they get another try.

2. Let one system stay theirs. Let them pick one space (their backpack hook, their basket) and stop maintaining it yourself for a week, even if it gets messy. Resist the urge to fix it for them. Follow up with curiosity. If it goes well, ask them how they feel about their efforts. If it remained a mess, ask them what do they think wasn’t working and come up with a new solution to try again.

3. Name it out loud, once. “I noticed I’m being ask a lot where the scissors are. How about we figure out together where it feels more intuitive for everyone. Got any suggestions?” Problem solve it together brings awareness without the blame.

How did these land for you? Which one would you try first? Comment below.

If this is the kind of shift you want more of, that's what the Dooley Method library is for. Paid subscribers get full access whenever they're ready for it.

Subscribe now

“It’s had even more of an impact than I expected.”

That’s what one client told me after her bedroom reset.

In the days that followed, she found herself going for walks and clocking over 10,000 steps. That week she not only kept her bedroom organized, it motivated her to keep the rest of her apartment clean too.

That’s what a bedroom reset does. It doesn’t just change one room — it changes how you feel about what’s possible for your whole home.

When your bedroom is in order, you get back the capacity to handle everything else with a little less overwhelm.

More patience for your children while learning is still happening.

More motivation knowing everyone can share the responsibilities

More confidence from hands-on practice that makes a noticeable difference — with yourself, your partner, and your children.

Watch this introduction (3 minutes) to find out how this reset give you More room to breathe, rest, and connect.

Experience your own reset.

It’s time to reclaim your energy and introduce home organizing to your kids as something you can do together!

Parents often tell me after the reset that their kids end up asking: "Can we do my room next?"

That kind of shift — from “go clean your room” to a kid who wants in — is what can happen when you start here.

This mini course is designed for busy parents to learn quickly and put into practice. The videos and downloadable checklist below are available to paid subscribers only.

Video 1: Start Small. Start Connected. (12:58 minutes)

Video 2: Declutter for Calm (7:26 minutes)

Video 3: Making Sense and Letting Go (4:22 minutes)

Video 4: Organize to Last (7:18 minutes)

Subscribers can get full access to this series and all of the lessons in the Dooley Method content library.

Read more

Hi there!

Wherever this finds you — mid-chaos, mid-coffee, or somewhere in between — I’m glad you are reading this email. (If you’d rather read at your leisure instead of getting them in your inbox, you can adjust your notifications here.)

If this is your first time getting Dooley Noted, welcome. And to everyone who’s been here for a while — thank you for sticking around and for all the hearts and comments. They mean more than you know.

And just curious, does summer feel like you can finally get a little break, or does it bring more anxiety?

I’ve noticed that as I age, the anxiety from anticipation seems to build earlier and linger longer — even when the thing I was stressed about is done. But what's helped me consistently is maintaining the minimum care for our home — less visual noise, less to distract me, and a little more room to slow down and breathe without the stress escalating.

If you've been the one organizing your home mostly on your own, summer is a natural opening to build some new rhythms with your kids. Start with this free Foundation Lesson to learn how to bring your children into the process without it turning into a power struggle.

Recent celebration worth noting

I recently migrated everything from my old website over to Dooley Noted and created a contents page for the Dooley Method Library. Looking at all the lessons and videos, I felt like a proud mom seeing how much I’ve built over the years.

And something new is already growing from it.

🌟 I’m currently recording a 4-part mini course called The Calming Reset — designed to give you back more capacity and stop hiding in the bathroom for a moment of peace. (You’ve done that too, right?)

I’m looking for a small group of families to beta test it before the official launch. In exchange for your honest feedback, you’ll receive 3 months of full access to my premium content and live support.

If this interests you, comment below or reply to this email and I’ll be in touch with more details.

A challenge worth noting

Working on something alone, no matter how much you love it, can start to feel heavy. I think a lot of parents know that feeling of the invisible work of keeping everything running, the decision-making and troubleshooting when you feel like there’s no one to turn to for help. It’s part of the reason why I offer the live co-working sessions. It’s not only for my subscribers, but for myself too.

And recently, I found an accountability partner on Substack! Debbie from Connection Bridge Parenting, who uses connection-first storytelling to help parents through everyday challenges. We’ve been showing up for each other and even started planning a collaboration I’m very excited about. I invite you to check out her Substack, she’s shares wonderfully engaging stories that can help children process real life obstacles and how to overcome them.

Debbie has helped me feel less alone on days when I feel deflated or overwhelmed. Who in your life can be that person for you?

Leave a comment

A commitment worth noting

Last month I committed to finish editing my conversation with Angela Tam, the Mental Load Coach. I kept that promise — and the episode is scheduled to air on June 23rd. I can't wait for you to hear it. It's one of the most honest conversations I've had about the invisible weight so many of us carry, and what we can actually do about it.

One final note

Some days even the minimum feels hard to start. Having someone else working alongside me makes all the difference between actually getting something done and scrolling my phone until the moment passes.

That’s the whole point of co-working sessions. For the price of an oat chai latte, you can join me on Mondays and Tuesdays at 1 PM EST, 90 minutes. Show up, work on whatever’s on your list, and leave feeling a little lighter.

(P.S. There won’t be a session on June 9th because I’ll be giving a workshop teaching KonMari consultants how to organize with kids. That’s like a kind of co-working too. I’m looking forward to that.)

Sign up below or upgrade to participate:

Come sort through your mail, clear a drawer, meal prep — anything that helps you start the week feeling a little lighter.

Sign Up for a Co-Working Session

Keep the sunscreen in a basket by the front door. Your future self will thank you.

Until next month!

Joyfully, Ann

I’m sharing my own childhood experiences with toys, what changed after I became a mom, and how I help families find the right amount for their home without the meltdowns.

In this FREE episode:

• How our own childhood shapes the homes we create today

• Why toys become a currency for good behavior — and what to do instead

• The two signals that tell you when you have too many

• How to involve your kids in finding the right amount

• Small, realistic steps to slow down what’s coming in

Want to go deeper? Chapter 11: Decluttering With Kids, covers everything in this episode and more. The link is below. Paid subscribers can download the full chapter PDF.

The Dooley Method grew out of years of working with families — noticing what brought them closer and what helped kids want to participate.

If this resonated, the full library is available to paid subscribers whenever you’re ready — chapter lessons, downloadable worksheets, workshop replays, and podcast episodes to help your whole family work as a team.

Subscribe now

Not just a place that holds things, but one that works for you, reflects a little of who you are, and makes the daily routine feel more considered.

Here are five drawers that do exactly that.

A beloved stuffed animal tucked into a gap does double duty — it fills the space so folded clothes stay upright, and it gives your child a small moment of delight every time they open it.

And it’s not just for kids. A childhood toy you want to keep close, or a small lovey your child has outgrown — this is a sweet spot for that too.

Organization doesn’t have to be serious. A little surprise goes a long way.

Mornings benefit from simplicity. When you need to get out the door fast, having your cute sneakers in the drawer right below your t-shirts and jeans means the whole outfit is in one place.

No searching. Just open, grab, get dressed and go.

There’s a reason color gradients feel so satisfying — something about the order actually calms the nervous system.

Lining up clothes by color turns a functional drawer into something genuinely cheerful to open.

When you arrange drawer organizers, you sometimes end up with a gap — a little negative space between sections.

Don’t leave it empty. Here, that in-between space became the perfect spot for sunglasses, lined up in a row on a small piece of white cloth to keep them from sliding around.

Some of our most meaningful things end up forgotten in a box somewhere.

This last image is a reminder that a drawer can hold more than clothes. A few special scarves, small keepsakes, a photo — things too meaningful to live out of sight.

Every drawer in this gallery came from really listening — to the person, to the space, to what would make their daily routine feel a little more like them. Nothing here is a template. Each solution was thought through from scratch.

That’s the part of this work I love most.

Wonder how would this work for your family?

Many parents begin working with me through a single virtual session — a chance to experience firsthand what’s possible when you have someone in your corner to troubleshoot, guide, and bring your vision of a collaborative family to reality.

Parent Circle members not only receive a two-hour virtual session with me at 40% off the regular rate, but also exclusive Dooley Method content to keep you motivated and inspired.

If you’ve been curious about what this could look like for your family, this is a great place to start.

Subscribe now

In case you missed it…

Home organizing is letting go of what no longer serves you.

Parenting is knowing when to let go and trust your child to figure it out.

The Dooley Method is practicing both — together.

Share the inspirations in this post with someone who might enjoy it.

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Over 2,000 hours of organizing people’s homes have taught me a lot about working with parents who’ve had it with clutter.

Many of them labeled their children as messy and irresponsible before we began. Parents who couldn’t think straight when all they see is clutter wherever they go in their homes, and those who were frustrated being the only one handling the work.

Some of them had previously hired a home organizer. Like an episode of HGTV, these families returned for the big reveal after the organizer spent hours on creating the dramatic makeover.

The family remembers the relief of finally seeing their kitchen counter. But a few weeks later, their home was back to feeling cluttered, the systems fell apart, and they felt disappointed — resigning themselves to waiting until the kids leave for college to feel order and calm again.

Here’s the truth. It’s not that the organizer didn’t do a good job.

The problem is that home organizers work differently, and families need to find someone who can not only set up the systems, but teach the family how to maintain them.

And it’s not just teaching the moms.

When I first started organizing, moms were the ones who reached out — until I realized the division of labor was making organizing a source of friction within the family. The difference in each family member’s skillset, motivation, and method had different levels of impact on the outcome and the amount of stress they brought on.

A more effective approach for families is one where everyone knows where things go, why they’re kept there, what happens when something new comes in, and how things get put away.

Furthermore, organizing for families isn’t only about the aesthetics. It’s also knowing what to do when kids’ drawings start to pile up but they refuse to let go, how to hold boundaries when going shopping, and what to do with kids’ treasures that to you feels like junk. I personally have been guilty of buying a small toy every time I went shopping when my son was little to keep him from having a tantrum in the store.

So finding the right home organizer begins by checking to see if the person can provide you with the knowledge needed to maintain the space after they leave. And ideally, someone who is comfortable working with children to close the gap for household responsibilities.

And if you’re wondering what other factors helped families decide to move forward with working with someone like me, here are 7 things parents have shared that helped them take that step.

1. They understood what happens during sessions before they started.

Does the person you’re looking to hire give you a glimpse of how they work? I always recommend starting your search by reading reviews or finding someone through word of mouth. Then, see if you can talk to the potential hire to get a sense of what the sessions might look like.

When parents first reach out to me, we always start with a complimentary consultation to understand your family’s needs. I welcome kids to join because it piques their curiosity and they feel excited about having an opinion on the potential changes in their home.

If we feel like a good match and they book a session, we start with the parents’ bedroom. Why? Because being a parent is hard work, and you need proper rest and time to quiet your mind without being surrounded by clutter.

Prioritizing the parents’ room helps increase capacity, reduce the stress and urgency around the rest of the home, and sets up a kind of showroom — a model for the children of what an organized space looks and feels like.

Then we work through the home together — clothing, books, paper, kitchen, bathroom, toys, and sentimental items — with children working on their belongings to build self-confidence, muscle memory, and internal motivation.

Along the way, we figure out routines and systems that make sense for your family. I include email follow-ups to keep parents on track between sessions. Accountability is crucial to building the momentum and stamina to get the whole home in order.

2. They realized they didn’t need their partner to be fully on board to start.

As mentioned, it’s common for moms to be the ones who reach out and take on the whole organizing project. When that happens, she can end up continuing to carry the mental and physical load — putting more strain on the family dynamic.

Every family looks different, and I work to meet you where you are. Ideally, having both partners involved creates shared understanding and knowledge. But when that’s not the case, we ease into the process a little slower — because sometimes resistance comes from feeling uncomfortable with change, which is completely normal when you’re used to your home a certain way.

As long as there’s a willingness to keep an open mind, it’s often that the other person sees the difference in their partner’s storage spaces and slowly becomes more interested in the process.

3. They stopped worrying about whether their kids would cooperate.

Most children respond well when an organizer makes their room look brand new. But some feel unsettled when they don’t know where their favorite things went. That’s why finding an organizer who will include children in the process — rather than doing it for them — matters.

The Dooley Method approaches organizing with kids by creating the conditions that invite them to try. Children practice making decisions throughout the process and build the confidence that they can do it themselves.

That’s what creates lasting results because the skills to maintain order start from the beginning. When parents are also learning, they show up with more empathy and patience while being more skilled to offer guidance and support rather than take over.

4. They accepted that the kids’ spaces come last.

One of the most common requests for home organizers is to start with the kids’ room, playroom, or kitchen. And I completely understand why — those areas create the most daily chaos and frustration for parents.

But focusing on the kids’ spaces when the rest of the home also needs attention, when children don’t yet have the skills to help on their own, when the decision to declutter or organize was made without children knowing or understanding what will happen and why it’s necessary — these are all ways this project can create emotional distress that leads to resistance and power struggles.

Working with a home organizer who understands that will allow children to ease into the transition by watching, participating in small ways, and developing enough curiosity that they’ll welcome the change.

5. They made peace with the timeline.

If you’re single or have a partner who is equally interested in getting organized, hiring someone to organize while you’re out would give you the reset you needed to quickly enjoy your home.

However, lasting results for parents with young kids comes from making time to work and learn from organizers who provide that type of service. That means it may take longer for the overall transformation. But you will definitely see dramatic changes after each session to motivate you to continue.

There are also several factors that can affect the timeline:

• The size of your home

• The amount of clutter

• Your family’s availability

• The skill level of where everyone is starting from

With kids, their motor skills, exposure, and associations with clean-up time all play a role.

On average, small families I’ve worked with in New York can complete their whole home between 30 and 50 hours. (Fingers crossed no one gets sick during those 3 to 6 months.) Families do get faster with practice and often their growing confidence allows them to take on more on their own between sessions because the process is so rewarding.

The goal is steady progress that fits your family’s schedule and builds long-term habits.

6. They did the math — and it changed how they thought about the cost.

Hiring a home organizer is not a decision to take lightly. But not hiring someone may already be costing you more than you realize.

During organizing sessions, many people discover forgotten containers holding things that haven’t been used in years. Brand new items purchased for the thrill of shopping. Stuff left in the back of a closet that you never really liked in the first place. Some families spent thousands on renting storage lockers where most items eventually ended up in the garbage.

Here’s a simple calculation worth sitting with.

If roughly half your home is taken up by clutter, take what you pay in rent or mortgage each month and divide it by two. That is how much you’re already paying every month for unusable space.

Multiply that by twelve.

Then by the number of years you’ve lived this way.

And the truth is, most families I’ve worked with found they could recover the investment for hiring a professional organizer — and then some. One client sold the car she never drove but had been paying insurance on for over two years.

I’m not a big spender myself, and I know kids are expensive. But I believe in investing in quality of life and in the skills that continue to reduce tension at home. Ultimately, like any decluttering decision, it’s one that families need to feel confident and clear about.

7. They stopped waiting for the perfect moment.

Every family I’ve worked with told me they wished they had reached out sooner.

But it’s easy to keep putting it off. After the holidays, things will settle down. Once summer camp starts, we’ll have more time. When the kids are a little older, they’ll be more ready. When we have a little more money saved up.

And meanwhile, the pile stays. The frustration builds. The conversations about who left what where happen again and again. The kids keep getting the same feedback — messy, irresponsible, not listening — without anyone showing them a different way.

Nothing changes because nothing new was introduced.

Sometimes the call comes when families have genuinely hit a wall — staring at the same pile, freezing up, and realizing they don’t know how to move forward on their own.

The way to break any cycle is to interrupt it with something new.

If you’ve been sitting with this, I hope these reasons helped give you some clarity. And if you feel some shift in how you feel about working with someone and I seem like a good fit, I’d love to have a conversation. No pressure, no commitment — just a chance to talk through what’s feeling hard and whether working together makes sense.

Ann Dooley is a certified home organizer and parent educator based in Brooklyn.

She works with families in the New York area and virtually — helping families organize together through connection, build lasting habits, and create more calm at home.

Find out how Ann can help

My sons looked at me and asked, “What will we get?”

The task was cleaning the bathroom they share.

I understood the question. We live in a world that runs on incentives — a star on the chore chart, extra device time, something from the prize box. It makes sense that kids start to expect a transaction.

But I also knew that whatever I offered in that moment would become the price of their cooperation next time.

And the time after that.

So I said “You get a clean bathroom.”

They weren’t thrilled. But they did it with an excessive amount of protective gears just short of a hazmat suit.

What happened next was not quiet or tidy. I'd hear screaming, laughing, and "No, you do it!" as they carried on for way more time than necessary.

But they were doing it. Together. Without a prize waiting at the end.

As chaotic as it was, they did not want my help because they were having fun.

I hear versions of “What will we get?” from kids when parents ask them to do something. The bribes that started small, then one day stop being worth the effort. The chore charts that held so much promise becomes more work to keep track of. The exhausting back and forth of negotiating something that should just... happen.

I get it. When you’re tired and the bathroom needs cleaning, extra device time feels like the fastest path to yes.

But what parents actually want is kids who take on a task not because there’s something in it for them at the end — but because they understand there’s a need for action and they feel capable of doing it.

Parents want it to feel natural, like “This is what we do in this family.”

That happens through:

• Parents modeling noticing it, taking care of it, and expressing how the result feels

• Giving kids opportunities to try, fail, and know they’re supported enough to try again, and again, and again — each time with more confidence and less friction.

• Acknowledging them with words that name their character, not just “good job” — “You guys put so much energy into that. The bathroom smells amazing!” or “The mirror is so spotless I can see my wrinkles!” (true story)

The reward-free approach is about trusting that contributing to a shared space, taking care of something that’s yours, and doing it alongside someone you love — is enough. Sometimes it’s more than enough.

What to do next?

Here’s a free subscriber video from the Dooley Method Library. It’s part of the Start Here series as the foundation for working with your kids. It’s what I wish overwhelmed parents knew about organizing with their kids.

Got a question about organizing with your children?
Send it my way — I answer subscriber questions through posts, episodes, and videos.

Curious what’s the Dooley Method is about? Check out how it can help your family declutter while fostering connection here.

I said something I’m not proud of. A threat I didn’t mean, in a tone I knew too well from my own childhood.

My son’s silence felt worse. Even after he cleaned up I didn’t feel good about it.

Because I knew underneath his compliance wasn’t a sudden change to become more responsible. It wasn’t genuine cooperation.

It was fear, of me and what was at risk if he didn’t comply.

Even though it was hard to admit, I knew using fear as a tool wasn't working. But I didn't know what to replace it with.

When I tried using rewards, that only led to more negotiations until that stopped working as well.

So I started doing a lot of reading on parenting and childhood development — what builds trust between a parent and a child, what nurtures motivation from within.

All along, I wanted my son to take action because it mattered to him, not because he was afraid of what would happen if he didn't.

I put what I learned into practice. Then I started to notice a shift. Even though I didn’t get it right every time, when I changed how I showed up, so did my son. And the more I practiced, the more confident and responsible he became.

For the first time in my parenting life, I felt a sense of ease.

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Then I noticed something else when I became a professional home organizer. I found that most of the people who reached out to me were moms — taking care of their homes on their own, burnt out, feeling alone in the struggle to manage it all and constantly getting into power struggles with their kids.

When I realized most resources out there only focused on parenting or organizing as two separate topics, I knew I had stumbled onto a new purpose.

That realization put me on a path to create a method that would help parents and children repair the friction from the daily stress of dealing with clutter.

I set out to help them hone their decision-making skills so they can confidently choose what stays and what goes.

I wanted to make it fun for kids to figure out the best place to store their things so they could confidently put things back on their own.

I wanted to help parents learn how to hold boundaries, so the things that enter their home don't end up forgotten or overstay their welcome out of fear and guilt.

And I wanted to do all of that while developing new habits and routines by prioritize the family's wellbeing and connection.

I know from firsthand the good intentions or desperation behind rewards and punishment.

Fear works. But what works even better is having a trusting and respectful connection with our children so that cooperation comes naturally.

It’s what shifts the energy in a home so when conflicts arise, no one walks away feeling defeated.

In the video I shared, you’ll learn 3 things placed my family and the ones I’ve worked with on a new path.

I hope after you watch it, you’ll give it a try. And come back to let me know what changes you notice.

Remember, organizing with kids doesn't need to be a battle. And you don't have to do it alone. I've seen how the Dooley Method transforms the parent-child relationship with the mess and with each other. If that feels out of reach from where you are right now, know that I'm here to help you get there.

Joyfully,
Ann

P.S. Watch more free video lessons now inside the Dooley Method Content Library.

❤️

You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You don’t have to do it alone.

You just have to start.

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You probably know someone in your life who put on a YouTube workout video and get it done. Others, like myself, need a class, an instructor, or a friend so we can stick to a routine.

The same is true for home organizing or following through on a new parenting approach. Some of us do better with structure. Some need company. Some need a deadline. And some need all three.

That’s part of why I offer the weekly live co-working sessions. Because there’s something about knowing other people are also hard at work that makes it easier to stay focused.

We hold each other accountable just by showing up in the same space.

But when that’s not available, whether the timing doesn’t work, the time zone is off, or life just gets in the way, you can still make progress.

Here’s what helps:

Book an appointment with yourself. Put it in your calendar like any other commitment. Name it something specific — not “organizing” but “clear the kitchen counter” or “sort the winter clothes.” Set an alarm. Show up for it the way you would for anyone else.

Tell someone. Let your partner, a child, or a friend know what you’re planning. Saying "I'll let you know how it goes" creates more follow-through than you'd expect.

If it’s an organizing project, ask a family member to take before and after photos. It creates accountability and gives you a record of your progress worth looking back on.

Post about it. If you’re comfortable being public, announcing your intention before you start and sharing the result afterward creates a natural loop of follow-through.

Message me in the Chat. If you are in the Parent Circle with chat access, tell me what you’re planning to tackle. I’ll follow up. That’s what the chat feature is there for.

Set a micro goal. Not “organize the whole dresser.” Just fold the socks. Clear one surface. A goal small enough to finish in ten minutes is a goal you’ll actually start.

Race against yourself. Set it for 20 minutes and work until it goes off. The timer removes the open-ended pressure and makes starting feel manageable.

Pair it with something you enjoy. A podcast, a playlist, a show you’ve been saving. Make the task feel like a treat rather than a chore. For me, it’s lighting a scented candle!

Now here’s where it gets interesting when it comes to kids

If accountability is genuinely hard for us as adults — with fully developed brains and years of practice — imagine what it’s like for kids, whose executive function is still years away from being fully formed.

The next time your child forgets to put their dishes away, or walks past the thing that needs to go upstairs, it might not be defiance. It might just be that they haven’t figured out yet what kind of support helps them follow through.

So ask them.

Share what works for you. Tell them about the timer, or the friend you invited to the gym, or the playlist that makes it easier. Then when they have a task to do, ask them:

What would help you remember?

What would make it easier to get started?

Do you want me to check in with you, or would you rather do it on your own?”

And when you do check in, when you remind them, that’s not nagging. That’s accountability. The same thing when your friend texts you to confirm when to meet at the gym.

The difference is in how we offer it. With curiosity instead of frustration. With grace instead of pressure.

Want to join a co-working session?
Sign up for accountability and make steady progress (paid members only). Find the current dates in the Monthly Connection post.

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If you know someone who could use this information, please share it with them. Who knows, they might become your accountability partner!

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For me, it starts with the commercials.

The heart-shaped jewelry. The mom looking surprised and delighted by something wrapped in a bow.

Not just because I’ve decluttered so many mother’s day gifts with clients that felt more like an emotional burden. I’ve also heard the complicated celebrations with those who has traumatic relationships with their moms and mother-in-laws.

For me, it’s also the fact that my birthday falls on or right around Mother’s Day.

As for my birthday, I started planning my own party since the 3rd grade. I enjoyed every bit of hosting. I loved the decorating, the planning of activities, and making sure my guests had a great time. The gifts I got were secondary to creating an event that made people feel special.

And even after becoming a mom, Mother’s Day was focused on hosting my mom and mother-in-law. I never really stopped to think about how I wanted to feel on a day I was a part of as well.

Growing up with an uneasy relationship with my mom meant that, rather than doubling up on the celebration, I mostly feared not meeting her expectations to “prove my love”.

And when we moved away and my children got older, a new kind of anxiety crept in.

Now with only myself under the spotlight, a low hum of pressure started building in the weeks leading up to the one weekend that — according to every ad — I deserve.

I’d bounce back and forth.

Do I ask for something? Do I wait and hope?

If I ask, does that make it less genuine? If I don’t ask, do I end up disappointed and pretend I’m not?

And underneath all of it — a quieter question.

What do I even want?

I enjoy seeing fresh flowers, but not the maintenance that follows. Jewelry or designer gifts have never been my thing. Chocolate makes my eczema flare up. The typical Mother’s Day gift ideas never felt right.

When I stopped hosting, our little family of four would go get brunch or my husband would get us really good bagels and lox and set up a spread at home. And I don’t want to come off sounding ungrateful because I do enjoy that very much, but

I wanted more.

I wanted some gesture from my children that wasn’t part of a class project, I wanted them to do what I always did — come up with something on their own, without being prompted.

But the problem was, I didn’t even know what it would be to satisfy that tug on my heart, and have I become my mom with an expectation? That thought horrified me.

I had to get curious. What makes me happy? “Does it sparks joy?” as my teacher Marie Kondo would say.

With a business I named “Simple Joy With Ann,” I started paying attention to the simple things that always make me happy:

A cup of oat chai latte.

A turmeric ginger one if I’m feeling fancy.

A bowl of ramen or wonton soup has never failed me.

That is my simple joy, my love language.

Then, a few years ago I started asking my boys for a one-on-one date to a restaurant or order in food that I love but may be new to them. This is not only a gift to my taste buds, it delights me when I can be part of them experiencing something they normally wouldn’t be open to.

This year, I requested they make me Bibimbap — a rice bowl topped with sautéed vegetables, marinated beef, a fried egg, and Korean hot sauce. They don’t realize that the real gift was me knowing they can find their way around a kitchen.

Dooley Noted is a reader-supported publication. If you enjoy these posts, consider buying me a chai latte — it helps me keep showing up every week.

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Something else I've come to love — and often recommend to clients — is the experience gift to learn something new together.

One year, I landed on celebrating by taking a ceramics class with my son. We made bowls that we still use. Every time I set one on the table, I think of that afternoon.

That’s what I’m after, a memory that keeps showing up.

What I’ve learned through all of this is that those of us who have spent years putting everyone else first sometimes need to practice thinking about ourselves. And when we do, we give our families the opportunity to actually step up for us. They get to experience the joy of seeing us smile.

Also, the energy we spend hoping they’ll figure it out is energy we could spend getting honest with ourselves — so we can ask for what we actually need, want, and deserve.

I wish every mom a happy Mother’s Day — especially the ones who have spent years making it beautiful for everyone else.

Speaking of knowing what you want and asking for it,
I've posted a survey so I can offer more of the kind of support you need.
Just a few multiple choice questions, and it helps more than you know.

I'd really appreciate your input.

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In case you missed it…

Did you know that when you join the Parent Circle, you get access to the full Dooley Method library plus a 2-hour virtual organizing session with me? It’s a chance to experience firsthand how much can shift in just two hours.

You can see all the details and membership benefits here, or click below to subscribe for full access.

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To all the moms, cheers to a happy early Mother’s Day!

This month I’m also turning 51!

I’ll be sharing how I plan to celebrate in next Tuesday’s post. So look out for that in your inbox.

Recent celebration worth noting

I received a truly heartwarming testimonial from a client, here’s an excerpt:

“(Ann’s) approach is simple, uncomplicated, and always has love at the core. The reframes and practical systems she gave me have stuck for two years through two major upheavals. Because of her, I’ve gone from just surviving to practicing thriving — finding more meaning and joy in everyday life.”

It never gets old being part of someone's journey like this. It is truly an honor.

A challenge worth noting

For the last few months I hosted live subscriber events with the intention of making myself accessible for your questions, only to learn that asking busy parents to show up at a set time often only made sense on paper.

So apply the Dooley Method and see this as an opportunity to pivot.

Let’s try something simpler. Use the button below and ask me anything weighing on you with organizing for yourself or with your kids.

I’ll respond to every question through a post, podcast, video, or when appropriate, direct message. (And rest assured your privacy is always protected.)

Tell me, what’s feeling challenging for you right now? I’d love to help.

My commitments worth noting

I'm really excited about this one! I recently recorded a conversation with Angela Tam, an amazing mental load coach, and I'm committed to finishing the edit so you can listen to her incredible wisdom and insights.

What’s something you’d like to commit to doing this month? Leave a comment below.

One final note…ok, two.

The Celebrate, Challenge, Commitment format is something I use with families too to keep track of our progress. If you’d like to try, download it here:

Celebratechallengecommitmentworksheet

70KB ∙ PDF file

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And the live co-working sessions are still FREE! (Starting June, it will be $8/month should you decide to continue and to get access to exclusive lessons.)

May co-working sessions are on Mondays and Tuesdays, starting at 1 pm EST and lasts 90 minutes.

You can choose to sort through your mail, clean out a drawer, meal prep, or anything that helps you start each week feel a little lighter. I hope to see you there!

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Home organizing is creating a place for everything.

Parenting is teaching a child that they belong somewhere too.

The Dooley Method is doing both at the same time.

And if you’d like to support the work I do, but aren’t ready to commit to upgrading your membership, maybe you’d buy me a chai latte instead to help me keep going.

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For years, I’ve been letting my kids do their own clothes editing.

It’s a way for them to practice noticing what they still like, what doesn’t feel good on their skin, and how much they’ve grown.

In the past, I felt mostly relief and delight when they declutter.

But this time I got a bit emotional over a t-shirt I bought for my older son at the Bronx Zoo. It was one of our first outings after moving to New York.

I remember that day. The excitement of a new city, a new beginning, everything still feeling a little wide open.

He wore that shirt until it got too snug. Then it became his brother’s. And now his brother has outgrown it too.

My younger son picked it up without much thought.

But my older son looked over and said “That’s my old shirt!” with excitement in his voice. He began to describe where we were, what we saw that day.

That was a perfect example of how our belongings can hold so much, and why certain items are handled with more care.

For me, a heavier feeling lingered a bit longer…

My memories didn’t stop at the zoo outing, it quickly reminded me of that chapter of motherhood where I didn’t share my struggles, or express the loneliness of caring for a child in a city I had yet to make new friends in. And how far I’ve come to be open about the challenges I face, or asking for support even from strangers.

This is the kind of organizing process I love most — not just the before and after, but what happens in between.

The sorting and editing of what the drawers and life hold.

Video Lesson: Now Available

Watch Video Now

In this 20 minute lesson, you’ll learn:

• How to turn a simple clothing edit into a meaningful experience

• How to help your kids tune into their body

• How to guide decision-making without taking over

• How to build resilience when letting go feels hard

P.S. I’m starting to pair these posts with short videos for those who want to move from reflection to practice.

This one is free.

For the cost of an oat chai latte a month, you’ll have access to mini-lessons and podcast episodes — including the upcoming first episode, How Many Toys Is Enough.

• How to turn a simple clothing edit into a meaningful experience

• How to help your kids tune into their body

• How to guide decision-making without taking over

• How to build resilience when letting go feels hard

I collaborated with Debbie Giannioti of Connection Bridge Parenting to turn the tips in this lesson into a children’s story. Reading it to your children is a wonderful way for them to preview the process from the lens of the character Livy and learn from it.

This lesson is a sample of what paid subscribers receive. Once a month I’ll be releasing a video lesson from the Dooley Method — a deeper dive into the chapters to help you put the method into practice with your family.

For around the cost of one large coffee a month, you’ll have access to the full library as it grows.

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Home organizing is letting go of what no longer serves you.

Parenting is knowing when to let go and trust your child to figure it out.

The Dooley Method is practicing both — together.

→ Click here to go to the Dooley Method Library contents page

This project was a family event.

The kids helped remove the glasses and mugs to the kitchen island. They shared which ones they enjoy using, and we figured out which shelf they could reach.

I explained the importance of leaving just enough space between each row of glasses so fingers can fit in between.

I also showed them that by facing the mug handles in the same direction, you don’t need identical mugs to get that uniform look.

Having a small pantry to feed a family of four means every inch matters.

While this pantry wasn’t in bad shape, there were some issues with knowing what goes where.

After emptying it out, grouping and editing the food, we made decisions together on what made sense for the whole family.

Kids always love having a dedicated shelf for their self-serve foods. And grouping the ingredients for meal prep together made it easy to figure out what to make for dinner.

We didn’t get any new organizing products.

We used what they had, rearranged based on the family’s needs.

No labels either — because the locations made it self-explanatory.

This is the kind of work I enjoy most. Not just the extra hands, but everyone having a voice in how a shared space works.

Let me know if you try any of these ideas with your family. And if you're wondering what's possible in your own home, I'd love to chat — book a complimentary consultation and we’ll figure out what’s best for your family.

Did you know, for around the price of one oat chai latte ($8/month),
you can participate in as many co-working sessions as you’d like? (Schedule are posted in the most recent monthly update) Hope to see you there!

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