Hi Everyone,
In the Dooley household this summer, the boys have been learning how to cook and picking up more tasks around the house. And if you’ve read my post about my older son turning 18, we’ve also been decluttering his things and setting up new systems before his first year in college.
I’m proud of how much he can handle on his own, but I offer to help anyway just so we can spend time together. Those casual moments often make the best space for connection.
Recent celebration worth noting
Part of what I love about my work is to celebrate alongside my clients’ milestones.
I’ve had the joy of working with a couple who are expecting their second baby and moving into a new home upstate. We started working together shortly after they got married, then again after their first child, and now at the start of another new chapter. What moves me the most is how they’ve held on to the skills they’ve learned and maintained their home in between. I feel like a proud mama myself!
Then there’s a mom that I’ve been working with virtually, along with her two boys. I suggested she add an additional shelf to maximize her vertical cabinet space, and she now keeps her cookbooks right near where she preps food. After seeing her photo, I spotted the perfect spot for adding small hooks inside the cabinet door for her measuring spoons!
And the best part from our last session is that her sons have been keeping up with resetting their bedroom on their own, and noticing how good it feels!
A challenge worth noting
If you have more than one child, you already know that every one of them can be so different. My younger son just turned 13, and while I want to honor who he is, it’s been more difficult to develop his internal motivation to keep his space organized.
I know it’s normal. At his age, autonomy matters more than almost everything else. What keeps working for me is asking questions and offering choices — you can learn about that here. But boy, does he test my patience some days.
With that said, I keep coming back to connection first, flexible expectations while still holding him accountable. If your kids are pushing back, it’s likely their body is in the middle of something developmentally big. It doesn’t make it any easier, but it makes sense. I feel for you, and we’ll get through it.
A commitment worth noting
I hope you’ve been enjoying my collaboration with gifted writer Sheeba of This, Right Here. We have three more stories to go, each exploring a different reason why people hold on or let go. I’m curious to find out which ones you’ll see yourself in.
And later this month on my podcast, I will be talking about the discomfort we all feel when our kids say no. If cooperation in your home feels challenging, I think this episode will bring you some hope and relief.
One final note
I’ve been coming across many posts lately about the need for moms to normalize asking for help. The shame attached to feeling inadequate but unable to break the cycle has kept families from getting the help needed to experiencing more calm, order and connection.
If that’s been your experience and you’ve been pushing through, I’d love to talk. My complimentary 30-minute consultation has been described as loosening the pressure valve. It’s a non-judgmental space to explore with you what’s possible.
P.S. Co-working sessions are just one of the many benefits of paid members.
For the price of an oat chai latte, you can join as many Dooley Noted co-working sessions available in a month — sessions are on most Mondays and Tuesdays at 1 PM EST, 90 minutes.
Aa a paid member, scroll down to book your co-working sessions.