Accountability. Why It's So Hard for All of Us (Including the Kids)
Practical solutions that can help
You probably know someone in your life who put on a YouTube workout video and get it done. Others, like myself, need a class, an instructor, or a friend so we can stick to a routine.
The same is true for home organizing or following through on a new parenting approach. Some of us do better with structure. Some need company. Some need a deadline. And some need all three.
That’s part of why I offer the weekly live co-working sessions. Because there’s something about knowing other people are also hard at work that makes it easier to stay focused.
We hold each other accountable just by showing up in the same space.
But when that’s not available, whether the timing doesn’t work, the time zone is off, or life just gets in the way, you can still make progress.
Here’s what helps:
Book an appointment with yourself. Put it in your calendar like any other commitment. Name it something specific — not “organizing” but “clear the kitchen counter” or “sort the winter clothes.” Set an alarm. Show up for it the way you would for anyone else.
Tell someone. Let your partner, a child, or a friend know what you’re planning. Saying "I'll let you know how it goes" creates more follow-through than you'd expect.
If it’s an organizing project, ask a family member to take before and after photos. It creates accountability and gives you a record of your progress worth looking back on.
Post about it. If you’re comfortable being public, announcing your intention before you start and sharing the result afterward creates a natural loop of follow-through.
Message me in the Chat. If you are in the Parent Circle with chat access, tell me what you’re planning to tackle. I’ll follow up. That’s what the chat feature is there for.
Set a micro goal. Not “organize the whole dresser.” Just fold the socks. Clear one surface. A goal small enough to finish in ten minutes is a goal you’ll actually start.
Race against yourself. Set it for 20 minutes and work until it goes off. The timer removes the open-ended pressure and makes starting feel manageable.
Pair it with something you enjoy. A podcast, a playlist, a show you’ve been saving. Make the task feel like a treat rather than a chore. For me, it’s lighting a scented candle!
Now here’s where it gets interesting when it comes to kids
If accountability is genuinely hard for us as adults — with fully developed brains and years of practice — imagine what it’s like for kids, whose executive function is still years away from being fully formed.
The next time your child forgets to put their dishes away, or walks past the thing that needs to go upstairs, it might not be defiance. It might just be that they haven’t figured out yet what kind of support helps them follow through.
So ask them.
Share what works for you. Tell them about the timer, or the friend you invited to the gym, or the playlist that makes it easier. Then when they have a task to do, ask them:
What would help you remember?
What would make it easier to get started?
Do you want me to check in with you, or would you rather do it on your own?”
And when you do check in, when you remind them, that’s not nagging. That’s accountability. The same thing when your friend texts you to confirm when to meet at the gym.
The difference is in how we offer it. With curiosity instead of frustration. With grace instead of pressure.
Want to join a co-working session?
Sign up for accountability and make steady progress (paid members only). Find the current dates in the Monthly Connection post.
If you know someone who could use this information, please share it with them. Who knows, they might become your accountability partner!
Only committing for a few minutes doesn't look impressive.
But it's one of my favorite strategies!
So many times I’ve started something “just for 5 minutes" and ended up finishing it. And at a better standard than expected.