Thank you for the tips, Ann! They’re such fun and engaging games for kids—you can get them involved in cleaning without them even realizing they’re cleaning.
You are welcome! Play is kids’ “work”. And honestly, why would anyone want to stop playing? I think when we clean up with them as play, it helps us from feeling the stress over clean up too. And less tension is always easier for their brains to learn. It’s a win-win!
I really felt the part about saying something in a calm voice and thinking that automatically makes it gentle parenting. I’ve done versions of that too.
And honestly, the reminder that play is their work is such a good one. We expect them to switch gears because we’re ready, while they’re completely absorbed in what they’re doing.
I also like that your ideas are actually practical. The “I Spy” cleanup one is something I could genuinely see working without turning the whole thing into a battle.
I’m really glad you connected with this post, Teresa. It took me a while to fully grasp what gentle, respectful, positive parenting truly is. It’s not performative. It’s not being passive aggressive and hope your child can’t pick up that energy. I landed on focusing on connection because to truly connect, you must be present and be willing to actively look and listen. When you can put yourself in your child’s perspective and abilities, it’s easier to not take things personally. So often the parts of their brain to control their impulses and emotions are so immature that they physically cannot do what’s expected.
But playing, they get it. And they connect with you while playing, not realizing they are learning and developing so many skills behind the scenes in their little minds and bodies!
If you try any of the games, please let me know how it goes!
Yes, this is actually something I’m working on a lot with my nine-year-old right now — helping her regulate big emotions instead of expecting her to just be able to control them because she “should know better” by now. Thank you for the tips. I will for sure try something out.
I usually only just put up a clean up song or sing a song to get them to clean up and have a little fun with them. But these games sound so fun, I will be trying it!
The clean up song is great because they probably use that in school too. But as they get older, the games will feel more exciting. And choosing which game to play when cleaning up will give them a sense of control and power, which makes doing the task less of a challenge than being told what to do.
I loved these ideas, they are absolutely wonderful! We’ve actually tried a couple of them.
Sometimes I just don't have enough patience, so I honestly don't do anything about their room and just clean my own space instead. I sit there, and when the kids start bringing their toys into the clean area I just fixed up, I go, "Well, what's going on here?"
They say, "Our room is way too messy!"
And I’m like, "Hmm... so would you like that room to be clean and tidy then?"
When they say yes, I just smile and go, "Well then, looks like we have a problem to solve!" :D
I love this!!! You handled it so beautifully. I do that too. If they don’t learn to notice it, it’s just us telling them what to do. And that doesn’t last or become habits. Your calm guidance to see it as a problem to solve is the perfect invitation and path to learning!!! 🥰
I love it!! Thank you so much for sharing this with us ❤️ I love the idea of competing against the clock instead of each other though. That would definitely work better in my house! 😂
😄 Yes! Kids against the clock or against the parents will encourage them to work together, especially afterwards you reinforce it with “you are such a great team!”
Thank you for the tips, Ann! They’re such fun and engaging games for kids—you can get them involved in cleaning without them even realizing they’re cleaning.
You are welcome! Play is kids’ “work”. And honestly, why would anyone want to stop playing? I think when we clean up with them as play, it helps us from feeling the stress over clean up too. And less tension is always easier for their brains to learn. It’s a win-win!
I really felt the part about saying something in a calm voice and thinking that automatically makes it gentle parenting. I’ve done versions of that too.
And honestly, the reminder that play is their work is such a good one. We expect them to switch gears because we’re ready, while they’re completely absorbed in what they’re doing.
I also like that your ideas are actually practical. The “I Spy” cleanup one is something I could genuinely see working without turning the whole thing into a battle.
I’m really glad you connected with this post, Teresa. It took me a while to fully grasp what gentle, respectful, positive parenting truly is. It’s not performative. It’s not being passive aggressive and hope your child can’t pick up that energy. I landed on focusing on connection because to truly connect, you must be present and be willing to actively look and listen. When you can put yourself in your child’s perspective and abilities, it’s easier to not take things personally. So often the parts of their brain to control their impulses and emotions are so immature that they physically cannot do what’s expected.
But playing, they get it. And they connect with you while playing, not realizing they are learning and developing so many skills behind the scenes in their little minds and bodies!
If you try any of the games, please let me know how it goes!
Yes, this is actually something I’m working on a lot with my nine-year-old right now — helping her regulate big emotions instead of expecting her to just be able to control them because she “should know better” by now. Thank you for the tips. I will for sure try something out.
I look forward to hearing about how it goes. 🤗
These are such great tips Ann!
I usually only just put up a clean up song or sing a song to get them to clean up and have a little fun with them. But these games sound so fun, I will be trying it!
The clean up song is great because they probably use that in school too. But as they get older, the games will feel more exciting. And choosing which game to play when cleaning up will give them a sense of control and power, which makes doing the task less of a challenge than being told what to do.
you are absolutely right! trying to incorporate games more!
I loved these ideas, they are absolutely wonderful! We’ve actually tried a couple of them.
Sometimes I just don't have enough patience, so I honestly don't do anything about their room and just clean my own space instead. I sit there, and when the kids start bringing their toys into the clean area I just fixed up, I go, "Well, what's going on here?"
They say, "Our room is way too messy!"
And I’m like, "Hmm... so would you like that room to be clean and tidy then?"
When they say yes, I just smile and go, "Well then, looks like we have a problem to solve!" :D
I love this!!! You handled it so beautifully. I do that too. If they don’t learn to notice it, it’s just us telling them what to do. And that doesn’t last or become habits. Your calm guidance to see it as a problem to solve is the perfect invitation and path to learning!!! 🥰
I love it!! Thank you so much for sharing this with us ❤️ I love the idea of competing against the clock instead of each other though. That would definitely work better in my house! 😂
😄 Yes! Kids against the clock or against the parents will encourage them to work together, especially afterwards you reinforce it with “you are such a great team!”
I look forward to hearing how things go. 👍👍